Four Months Later I Return

Four months ago I read a post on a blog that I read regularly. I'm not going to link it here because really what it said was irrelevant. What was relevant was that it made me reconsider how I write. I didn't really think much of it when I read it but it stewed in my brain for the next few days. I started to weigh the value of my time here on my blog. I realized that I'm in a season of life that requires both my physical and mental presence at all times. I truly shouldn't commit myself to a blog.


Throughout the days following this revelation I started to ponder what my blog presence should be. I wondered what it should look like, or whether I should just be removing my blog altogether. There came an evaluation of what I had been writing lately. I prayed about it. It didn't take long for me to realize that there was a problem with not only my lack of commitment, but also with the content of my posts.

I have to stop here and say that I don't regret anything I've ever posted, or even think that anything was wrong with my past posts. What I had realized is that there were many posts that I hadn't consulted God about at all. I'm not talking about pictureful posts either. I'm talking about posts that started out like this:

Me thinking: This is something that I've realized lately. I should share it on my blog. People could benefit from this. type, type, type..... finished! What a great post!!!!

Notice something there? I had written what might have been a great post, sometimes even quoting scripture. I knew that everything I wrote was biblically sound. I knew that it was truthful and I was happy with it. It was, however, written because an idea had popped into my head. I did it spontaneously, didn't consult the Lord first or even take a day to pray about it before posting it or writing it.

So if you haven't gathered this by now, all of this resulted in me abandoning this little corner of the internet for some time. Four months to be exact. I didn't start out with the idea that it would be four months. I just figured that I would take time off until I felt at peace with coming back.

Recently I've felt led to return here. I have had some answers come to me about my life commitments. I realize that I'm not supposed to blog much right now. As tempting as it is to grow my blog audience, this isn't the time. I'm not meant to be in business. I'm not meant to feel obligated to post every day or two. I'm meant to be a wife and a mother. I have plenty of wifing and mothering to do. (I'm aware that I made that word up) I often will share something here that I feel will help someone, but do you know what? The people I need to be helping are at home. They aren't found out in blog world.

My kids need me more than blogworld does. That's the bottom line.  Just because I think of something I want to write about doesn't mean I have the freedom to do so.  Now I'm at peace with returning here, but it's clear to me that I need to make the posts a luxury, not a necessity. I will post rarely. I will not be taking time away from my family to do so. I will use my posts as my personal hobby. Would I make it a point to take myself out for coffee 4 times a week? No, because I truly can't spare that hour and a half out of my day for fun.. not four times a week anyway. Can I spare it once a week? Sometimes. Once a month? Probably. But the problem is, I need to think of it as taking it out of the "me time" budget. Not the "household time" budget. Because there is ALWAYS something more important in the household time budget that I could be doing. I will only take time out of my personal budget to blog. We've made the decision for me to stay at home now. I am not working outside the home. I'm not going to replace that time that I've regained by spending it blogging. I'll alot myself a certain amount of time per month to spend it on "me" and if blogging trumps painting my nails or getting together with my girlfriends then I'll do it. But if not then the post that is rattling around in my brain may have to wait until next week. It's that simple.

So if I'm not going to post often... they'd better be quality. So you can bet that every post will be prayed over. And if I want to post a little picture or a quick link I can do that too.. but I have to make sure my kids are tucked in bed to do it, meaning I'll have to get up early in the morning and do it.

So let's recap. My priorities rank as follows. 1. God, 2. Husband, 3. Children... ........... and coming in at #472 is my blog. It's as simple as that.

I'm at peace with this. And I feel released to blog here again. This place is a rare treat for me now rather than an obligation or a place where I blog for attention.

Father God, you are so good and have blessed me in so many ways, both in life and in internet life. I praise you for all you've taught me. Please guide my fingers as they type and help me to post about topics that glorify you. Please help me keep my priorities in check, and please use this blog to reach even just one single person who may need to hear from someone who is in the same season. Please help me to be a better wife and mother to my family. I ask this in the name of Jesus who is my Savior, Amen.