Some thoughts

First of all I have to confess that I missed my check in for this week. I didn't mean to.  I was supposed to check in to let my other 3in30 cohorts know how I'm doing.  Of course I didn't.  Because when I read the instructions apparently I missed the part about how we're supposed to check in on Fridays.  I, in my own little pea brain, assumed that we would check in at the end of the first full week of March.. Here I am a homeschooler and I can't read directions.  Go figure. 

For what it's worth, I'm doing well at the bedtime goal.  I'm not perfect with it but I'm doing well.  The times that I've been up past ten are the nights when I've fallen asleep at 7:00 in the evening and then woke back up.  I know.  I'm pathetic.  But we were all sick here and as soon as I sat down to read the kids a story we'd all pass out together.  The good news is that we're all coming out of our sickness, slowly but surely.

I truly haven't been feeling sorry for myself over all of this flu garbage mostly because I know people who have bigger challenges ahead of them.  It seems like there is a lot of sadness, a lot of sickness, and a lot of loss affecting people right now.  There's a discussion posted on one of the online communities I'm a part of in which some of the women were talking about when sorrow and desperation leads to questioning God. 

I can sympathize with those feelings because I do understand how it feels to hurt.  I could see how when someone is crying over the premature loss of a loved one, they can feel abandoned.  I could understand anger. I know that when I don't understand the "why" behind things I get frustrated.  So let's review:  Loss, hurt, sadness, abandonment, anger and then frustration. 

On the message board there were some comments and questions about the "why's" behind awful things like the death of a child or a loved one with cancer.  Some people guessed Satan.  Others guessed science.

It didn't seem like anyone wanted to "blame" God.  I guess I understood why.  It's hard to understand how the Lord that we know, the loving God that we've been taught about could allow such awfulness. 

But there is a major problem with not "blaming" God... it means you don't believe that God is all powerful.  If you believe that science is at fault.. well then you don't believe that God is more powerful than science.  If you believe that this is Satan's fault... well then you don't believe that God is more powerful than Satan.  You don't believe that God has chosen your beginning and your end.  You don't believe that God knows each of your days, your moments, your seconds. 

What's that?  You do believe that He is all-powerful?  Oh good.  Well me too.  So that means that while God might not be "killing and harming" people and innocent children, he is allowing it to happen.  And THERE is the problem.

We have a hard time accepting and trusting God that if He allows something awful that He has worthwhile reason.  Because in our human mind there is NO good reason for cancer.  No good reason for a miscarriage.  No good reason for deadly accidents, natural disasters, childhood diseases.

But remember, our human minds and hearts will never ever be able to fully understand the workings of the Lord.  He has never guaranteed a painless existence.  In fact, as believers we are to expect persecution.  We are to expect death.  We are to expect mourning.  We are also to expect mercy, love, kindness, grace, forgiveness and the comfort that comes from knowing our fate is to be with Him someday.  But we are not to fully understand Him.

1 Corinthians 1:25 reads "For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength"  Doesn't that sum it all up? 

Remember when you were a kid and your parents made a decision that you didn't understand?  I don't know about you but there were several times when I would be so upset because I was sure they were wrong in their decision.  I couldn't for the life of me understand why they wouldn't do what I thought they should.  In retrospect, they were looking at a much bigger picture than I was.  Couple that with the fact that they had my best interest in mind instead of just what I wanted or what I felt I needed.  I know that there were times that they had to make a tough call, do things that might hurt a little, but the bottom line was that they were parenting an immature, emotionally-charged child. 

We are HIS immature emotionally charged children.  We feel so strongly.  And we can even be blessed with wisdom.  But we never see the big picture and we would almost always let emotions influence our decisions.  He doesn't do that.  He is the Father who always sees what has to happen, even if it means making a decision that might hurt us. 

I don't believe that He rejoices in our suffering.  I do believe it pleases him when we find comfort in Him in spite of our suffering.  I believe that times of suffering can be opportunities for surrender.  I also believe that we are refined by each and every time we are driven to our knees in prayer.  He is truly a great God, full of mercy and always in control.  Nothing slips through the cracks and happens without his knowledge. 

So here is a flipside of this.  God allows something bad, for whatever reason.  It will happen, it's part of life.  And all those factors I spoke about earlier:  Loss, hurt, sadness, abandonment, anger and then frustration, they can and probably will happen too.  Picture each of these factors as a bullet hole in the shield of armor that the Lord has provided you with.  If you get stuck in this state for too long, without trying to plug the holes with the Word of God, prayer, fellowship, and worship then what will you be left with?  Just holes.  And those holes are where Satan can reach you.  The enemy isn't in control of your life.  But he'll be more than willing to prey upon you when your armor is damaged.  I wouldn't allow doubt or questioning to take root by asking for understanding that you probably aren't capable of receiving.  I wouldn't try to point out to God why a loved one shouldn't have died, as he knows everything about the situation.  It's a waste of time and those holes in your armor stay wide open beckoning for the enemy to creep in.  Don't give Satan that window.  Instead ask for comfort and peace.  Ask for guidance.  Ask for strength.

This has become rather longwinded but the topic had been on my heart since reading some of this particular discussion and what I really wanted to post was this:  If you believe in Him, do it courageously.  Don't try to wimp out and make Him sound like some lovey-dovey humanized sweetheart of a God.  Declare Him sovereign over life, death, sickness, health, war, peace, satan, people... all of the universe which He created.  Worship Him and praise Him for all that you are blessed with.  And when your heart is aching and you can't begin to picture what your world will look like without the loved one that has died.. just remember that He knows.  He loves you and knows what your every tomorrow holds, so trust Him and let Him be your comfort.

He can handle it.  They don't call him the Almighty for nothing.