Exhaustion

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how much I have on my plate, between trying to be home as much as possible while still balancing my part time job, my kids, my husband, my housework, and my own well being. It seems that the Lord has used old Oswald again in my life because my Oswald Chambers devotional yesterday was titled "Are you exhausted Spiritually" and was quite enlightening as to how healthy it is to be spiritually tired, especially if you are trying to be a light for those around you who do not know the Lord as well, or at all. Oswald brings up the point that being tired out is not wrong, in fact it's natural. What would be wrong is to not replenish your energy from the Lord. He is the source for all our nourishment and he will hold us strong if we let him.



Oswald asks: "Has the way in which you have been serving God betrayed you into exhaustion? If so, then rally your affections. Where did you start the service from? From your own sympathy or from the basis of the Redemption of Jesus Christ? Continually go back to the foundation of your affections and recollect where the source of power is."



I really feel that this applies to both spiritual exhaustion and physical exhaustion, and when I apply it in my own life it hits very close to home. Am I tired? Why am I doing the things that are wearing me out? Am I trying to follow the examples of a good wife that are given in the bible? Am I trying to be obedient in my service? Am I trying to serve my husband, honor his wishes? Am I trying to provide nourishment and example to my children? Am I trying to be a light to those around me, an encouragement to those who need it?



Or. Am I doing things that I think are "Supposed" to be done? Exactly how much do I try to achieve because I want things to be a certain way, or a certain quality? I don't remember reading in Proverbs 31 that the woman's house was perfectly organized, perfectly clean, full of gourmet meals and the like. But in all honesty too often those things are what I think about when I think of being a good godly wife.

In reality Proverbs 31 speaks of a woman who works hard to be giving, to be nurturing, to provide for her family, to be faithful, to be loving, to be profitable, to seek wisdom and be sober. She brings honor to her husband, and she takes care of her family. She is faithful to the Lord. Doesn't she sound like a woman worth knowing? I bet she was the type of woman who met her husband at the door with a smile, even if she'd had a stressful day or didn't get everything done that she had wanted to that day.

But where were all the specifics about how a good woman should keep a perfect house or cook the perfect meals? It appears that all the random requirements and expectations I have, you know, about the mountain of laundry that never seems to go away and the clutter that reappears daily in spite of my efforts, it appears that those specific expectations are not God-issued but instead have grown out of my own earthly opinions and experience.

So as Oswald recommends I go back to the foundation of my actions. When I realize that my exhaustion is not coming from my desire to serve the Lord, but instead by my own personal desires for my home... I realize that I must better prioritize my actions because if I were tired from serving the Lord instead of serving myself He would in turn refill my energy and my spirit. Some of my own expectations can be tossed by the wayside to be replaced by honest to goodness efforts to be content serving the Lord with a joyful heart. Not to mention my husband would probably appreciate a wife who is full of joy and rest rather than full of exhaustion and disappointment about her earthly shortcomings.

His reserve is unending and He is a solid rock to lean upon. Why not serve a Lord that is such a gracious source of strength and nutrition rather than myself who can do nothing to replenish my exhausted body and soul? As Isaiah 40:28-29 reads:

28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.