Of Hair Dye and Surrender

There are days when I don't at all know how to start out my posts. And this is one of those days. It would be nice if I just had some catchy intro music or something. But the only intro music that I know would be the beginning of Elmo's world. Because that's how I roll.



"La la la la, La la la la, Traci's World! Traci loves her husband, her kiddos too! That's Traci's World!!!"



Ok. That didn't work so well. I guess I might as well give up on the intro music and get right to the meat of my post.



Yesterday as I was gazing at my gray hairs in the mirror, or glaring at them might be a more accurate description, I was struck with the horrific notion that some day I will be completely gray haired. I don't know why this bothered me. Aging has never been an issue with me. I'm not afraid of growing old, in fact the older I get the more blessed I seem to be.



But. I do like to dye my hair. So I asked myself, at what point would I be comfortable going natural and letting my gray hair shine through? Um. no. Not going to happen any time soon. In fact.. I can't even think about it without shivering. I am clinging to my non-gray hair like it's the single strand that ties me to my youth.



How ridiculous is that? I can't let go of hair dye. Hair dye has a hold on me. (doesn't that sound like an awful 80's song?) You're probably laughing at my overreaction by now, but really.. it's a serious thing.



What has a hold on you? What part of your life could you not release.. not die to the idea of it being that way?



Could you give up makeup for a month? Let the world see your blemishes?



Could you wear only plain baggy clothes that are completely out of fashion? Or does dressing impressively have too big a hold on you?



Could you tell a neighbor that you simply can't attend their party because you're tired.. or would it eat away at you until you dragged yourself out half dead to socialize?



Has controlling your diet become more about how YOU think you should eat and less about being a good steward of the body that the Lord has blessed you with?



Do you have your own opinions of what being a good Christian looks like? "A good Christian homeschools, dresses in long skirts, doesn't dance, doesn't skip church...." Have you ever tried to tell someone why you do the things you do with the intent of showing them what is right... never stopping to wonder if God agrees that your way is the only way? Have you ever either intentionally or unintentionally made someone feel like they are less of a Christian because they don't follow your rules? Could you die to that? Could you give up on the rules and just accept that people are different and sometimes our own bias gets in the way of how we do things?



Is there anything that you've become so attached to that you would never even think of changing it?



There are millions of things that get in between God and us. Some things are just little. Other things are huge. Some things are the least harmful things. Like eating healthy for example. It's a great thing to do. It benefits our body. But if it creates some delusion of control.. then it can keep us from trusting God to keep us healthy. Or simply accepting God's plan for our lives.. can we possibly eat the healthiest foods and still end up with some sort of health burden? If it's in His plan, then yes.

Or my affinity to hair dye. I can dye my hair over and over again but it will not slow the aging process. And if the dye is what's keeping me in my comfort zone rather than relying on God to lead me through.. well maybe it's time to "die to" the idea of dying.

I guess what I'm saying is it's good to be aware of the reasons why you do things. Be aware of how strong a hold they have over you. Be aware of the effects that they have on others and on your walk with the Lord. A day may come when God wants you to live a completely different life than the one that you're living now. And the "right way" may all of a sudden need to be dropped in order to follow God's way.

...for anyone who's wondering.. I'm not going to stop dying my hair yet. But I am going to ask for God's help in accepting the changes that he puts before me.